Your Ex Sent a Drunk Text? Exactly What to Reply (and When)

Quick answer: Do not reply to your ex's drunk text the same night. Wait until the next day, decide what you want, and send one short, neutral message or nothing at all. If they meant it, they will say it again sober.↗ Share on X

The best way to reply to a drunk text from your ex is usually to not reply that night. Wait until the next day, when they are sober and you are calm. Then send one short, neutral message, or nothing at all, depending on what you want. A drunk text shows feelings, but it is not a plan. Your reply should protect your self-respect first and only then leave a door open, if you want one.

This article walks you through exactly what to do: what to say, what never to say, and word-for-word messages for the most common situations.

Why did your ex send you a drunk text?

READ ALSOYour Ex Wants Another Chance: What to Say Before You Answer →9 Signs You Are Texting Your Ex After No Contact Wrong →Should You Text Your Ex Back? A Clear Yes-or-No Checklist →

Alcohol lowers the brakes. Things people hold back when sober come out after a few drinks. That can mean a few different things:

• They miss you and feel it more strongly when drinking.
• They feel lonely that night, and you are the familiar name in their phone.
• They feel guilty about how things ended and want to say sorry.
• They are bored or want attention, and you are an easy target.
• They want a hookup, especially if the text comes late at night.

You cannot know which one it is from a single message. That is the key point. A drunk "I miss you" might be real. It might also be forgotten by noon. Do not build your next move on one night of their feelings.

Should you reply right away?

In almost every case, no. Here is why:

1. They may not remember what they wrote, or may regret it in the morning.

2. You may react with emotion you will later wish you had kept to yourself.

3. A late-night back-and-forth often turns into an argument or a hookup you did not plan.

4. Replying instantly tells them you are always available, even at 2 a.m.

The exception: if the message suggests they are in danger, like they cannot get home safely or talk about hurting themselves, respond right away or contact someone who can help them. Safety beats strategy every time.

What does the drunk text actually say?

READ ALSOHow to Text Your Ex to Get Your Stuff Back, Drama-Free →Texting Your Ex Back: 11 Mistakes That Push Them Away →Texting Your Ex After No Contact: 5 Common Mistakes →

Read it once, then sort it into one of these types. The type decides your reply.

What should you text back the next day?

Here are word-for-word options. Pick based on your goal.

If you want to get back together (or at least keep the door open)

Keep it light. Do not jump on their emotion or pour your heart out.

• "Got your message last night. Hope you got home okay 🙂"
• "Ha, saw your text. Hope your head is doing alright today."
• "I saw what you sent. If you want to talk about it when you're sober, I'm open to that."

Why it works: it shows you are not angry, you are not desperate, and you are giving them the chance to repeat what they said with a clear head. If they mean it, they will say it again sober. That is the message that counts.

If they apologized

• "Thanks for saying that. I appreciate it. If you want to talk about it properly sometime, let me know."
• "I read your message. That meant something to me. Let's talk when it's not 2 a.m."

If it was a booty call and you do not want that

• "Saw your text last night. I'm not up for that, but I hope you're doing well."
• Or no reply at all. Silence is a full answer.

If you want no contact at all

You do not owe a reply. If you want to be clear once:

• "I got your message. I need space, so I won't be replying to texts like that. Take care."

Then stop. Do not explain more. Do not reopen the topic if they push.

What should you never text back?

These replies almost always make things worse:

1. "Were you drunk?" It sounds like an accusation and starts a fight.

2. "Do you mean it?" It puts them on the spot and shows you are hanging on every word.

3. A long emotional paragraph. It moves too fast, and they may not be ready.

4. Screenshots to friends, then a reply based on group opinion. Your reply should sound like you.

5. Anything mean or sarcastic. It feels good for five minutes and closes the door.

6. Matching their energy at 2 a.m. Two emotional people texting late at night rarely ends well.

What if they text drunk again and again?

One drunk text can be a moment. A pattern is a message of its own. If your ex only reaches out after drinking, and is cold or silent when sober, that tells you a lot. It often means they want comfort without commitment.

Watch what happens in daylight:

• Do they bring up the conversation sober?
• Do they make an actual plan, like coffee or a call?
• Do they take responsibility for anything?

If the answer is no to all three, treat the drunk texts as noise. You can say once: "I'd rather talk when you're sober. Late-night texts aren't something I'll respond to." Then stick to it. Mute the chat at night if that helps.

What if you are in "no contact"?

If you started a no contact period, a drunk text does not cancel it. No contact means you stop reaching out so you can heal and think clearly. A drunk message from them does not change your reasons.

You have two choices:

• Stay silent and finish the period you planned. This is often the stronger move.
• Send one brief, calm reply the next day if ignoring it would cause a bigger problem, then return to silence.

If you planned 30 days, a 2 a.m. text on day 12 should not reset your plan. Ask yourself: "Is my reason for no contact still true?" If yes, keep going.

How do you know if it was real?

Feelings shown while drunk can be real. Actions shown while sober are proof. Here is a quick way to tell the difference:

Give it a week or two. Real interest shows up again.

Your next step

Do not reply tonight. Put your phone in another room if you need to. Tomorrow, after you have eaten and slept, reread the message and decide what you want, not what they want in that moment. Then pick one of the messages above, send it once, and let their sober reply, or their silence, tell you where things really stand.

FAQ

Does a drunk text from my ex mean they want me back?

Not necessarily. It shows strong feelings in that moment, which can be loneliness, guilt, boredom or real interest. Watch whether they bring it up and make plans when sober.

Should I ignore a drunk text from my ex?

Ignoring it is fine, especially if it is a late-night booty call, an angry message, or you are in no contact. If you want contact, a short calm reply the next day works better than an instant one.

What if my ex keeps drunk texting me?

A repeated pattern of drunk-only texts usually means they want comfort without commitment. Say once that you prefer to talk when they are sober, then stop replying to late-night messages.